pileks

Pileks berat yang datengnya setahun sekali telah menyerang lagi,
akibatnya seminggu ga bisa bangun.
tapi ada untungnya juga, gw jadi bisa nyelesein tablecloth buat hadiah ultah mommy gw yang jatuh tanggal 1 februari besok,
dan...
merenung...

Question:
i am almost 25, but i still dont know where i will go....

answer:
ENTAHLAH

waiting ... (in vain)

once, you make me miss you
then you're gone without a word
what did i do wrong?
what do you intend to do?

(mode sulking on!)

you know, one should be responsible for what one has tamed.....(said the fox)

This is a part of my fave story, The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint Exupery

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," the fox said.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

"What does that mean--'tame'?"

"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean--'tame'?"

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys.
And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me.

To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.

To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think that she has tamed me . . ."

"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

"On another planet?"

"Yes."

"Are there hunters on that planet?"

"No."

"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored.

But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.

I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Your steps will call me, like music, out of my burrow.

And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad.

But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me!

The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

"Please--tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy.
I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am!

But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox.
"They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours.
There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards.
But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then taming has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields."

And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on.
"One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me.

But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox.

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

The Wing (by: Denise Levertov)

Something hangs in back of me,
I cant see it, can't move it

I know it's black,
a hump on my back.

It's heavy. You
can't see it.

What's in it? Don't tell me
you don't know. It's

what you tell me about-
black

inimical power, cold
whirling out of it and

around me and
sweeping you flat.

But what if,
like a camel, it's

pure energy I store,
and carry humped and heavy?

Not black, not
that terror, stupidity

of cold rage; or black
only for being pent there?

What if released in air
it became a white

source of light, a fountain
of light? Could all that weight

be the power of flight?
Look inward: see me

with embryo wings, one
feathered in soot, the other

blazing ciliation of ember, pale
flare-pinions. Well-

could I go
on one wing,

the white one?

please......???

Me (ihihihihi :">)

Barusan mencermati shout box gw...
ada tulisan dari mpok B yang bilang : ... namanya niken atmi....
hihihihi.. gw baru nyadar ternyata selama ini gw gak pernah mencantumkan nama asli gw di blog, selalu sebagai daon_ijo ato si uun.Dua nama itu diambil dari YM nick gw a.k.a : dedaunan_hijau....

gw malu nyantumin nama asli gw... (gara2 : liat aja blog gw yang kayak gini...).

Tapi akhirnya gw sadar sejelek atau sekacau apa pun blog gw, apa yang gw ketik di situ adalah apa yang gw pernah rasakan dan gw pikirkan, dan kalo gw dah ngeklik publish, berarti gw setuju buat membagi sebagian dari hidup gw tersebut dengan siapa pun yang mungkin baca blog ini...

so... ya udahlah, here i really really am. Dengan seluruh keberanian, saya perkenalkan :
Pemilik Blog ini... (sfx: taraaaaa)
nama : niken atmi sutrisniningrum
TTL : malang, 30 maret 1980
gender : female
occption: kuli nyambi kuliah s2 di dept. chemical engineering, itb
hobby : ngecet, nulis2, baca buku dsb dsb..

sodara-sodara sekalian, jika anda menemukan suatu hal yang nyleneh (a.k.a : strange) di blog ini, mohon just keep it in your heart, jangan dilaporken ke pihak yang berwenang ya.....

(nb : buat mpok B, thanks atas perhatiannya)

Januari, januari yang biru

blogku pun ikut membiru
sebiru langit yang penuh awan

lalalalalalalalalala
hihihihi (kumat nich)

eh lama ga nulis-nulis, serasa aneh...
tapi selama ga nulis kemaren, jadi sering stress (+ meracau ga jelas)
oleh karena itu, maka :
dengan ini saya menyatakan bahwa menulis harus diberdayakan kembali!!

Pengen cerita nih...
2 bulan terakhir ini gw pindah chat ke irc, disitu gw ketemu banyak org yang ummm... seperti gimana ya ...
biasalah, dunia chat yang penuh dengan misteri dan keanehan
tapi ada satu ( selalu deh... case yang sama) yang menarik perhatian gw,
orang ini smart banget, dan pake super komputer kayaknya (cepet bgt, kalo di ping replynya 1 sec)
dia lucu, dan gw rasa dia bukan org biasa (dont get me wrong here, dia mnsia normal kok)
he is interesting anyway
dan gw suka denger suara dia di telepon, aksennya yang kental dengan nuansa melayu :)), his infectious laughter and suaranya yang kayak suaranya pak'e

tapi orang ini never let me get close to him
dia ga mau kasih tau age dia, dia bahkan ga mau kasih tau real name dia hikss
padahal... (walaupun kata mas sakspear what is a name) tetep aja, name of things adalah salah satu hal pertama yang diajarkan Allah sama nabi Adam.. :((

gw rasa he keep me at bay for a reason...
mungkin dia dah merried or something ( gw dah tanya ma dia , katanya sih masih single)
ato dia anak buahnya dr azahari... :D (kalo iya, pasti dah ketangkep dia... org kerjaannya main scrembel online)
ato.........
"dia" bukan dia yang gw kenal di chattingan
dan dia ga mau gw tau identitas "dia"
ummm yeah
seharusnya gw bisa menghormati keputusan "dia" yang seperti itu...
tapi dasar gw... i cant keep this curiousity inside,
semakin "dia" bersembunyi, semakin gw pengen tau...
jadilah... proses hek mengehek ini (lom berhasil nich..)
tapi dont worry i didnt do and won't do anything illegally
its just putting together the puzzle pieces he may drops in its right place...

and every little things that only time will tell

I'll find you, no matter who you are!!! ( kecuali kalo gw dah bosen duluan heheheheheh)

New year 2005

my first post dis year, dont quite know what i want to say but
happy nu year for me myself and i

jz jezz jeezzz jeeezzzz
naik kereta api tutututut
ke bandung-surabaya
..................